Epic Punch Biopsy

For anyone who has had a sebaceous cyst before, they are rather uncomfortable, for those of you who haven't a sebaceous cyst is a blocked gland under the skin's surface that can't drain. I used to have a pair that resembled little horns; one on the left and the other on the right side of my head. It was an extremely appealing characteristic of mine. =)

So about 5 years ago I had one removed cause it rubbed on my kayaking and hockey helmets. No problems! Doctor did a great job, had a few stitches for a week and then I was off to play. A year later it came back, maybe because a portion was left behind the year before, hard to know for sure. A resident doctor removed it that time and my doctor gave play by play commentary, it was rather interesting; I was only missing the video feed.

This fall after my kayaking bender it was time to remove the other one. Smartly I thought let's do it in between kayaking and hockey seasons. So into the doctor's office I went (same one as before), but instead of a scalpel she decided it would be better to do a punch biopsy. It's like the equivalent of taking an itty bitty cookie cutter to my head with my scalp being the dough. I'll admit, it's not my favourite sensation. But you know, medical technology is always progressing... well supposedly. I inspected the alleged cyst they removed and I couldn't see it, I said, "it's pretty small to be causing all that kerfuffle." To which they agreed and I started having deep philisophical thoughts about my seeming oversensitive hyperchondriac reaction to a bump in my head.

Well because it was a punch biopsy I had to leave the stitches in for 2 weeks. Come week 2 I went to get the stitches out and finally touched my head... you'll guess immediately what I found!!! They cyst!!! The target cyst was missed by 5mm. =( Of course I'm annoyed, but think I should go back to my doctor and let her know the problem.

Of course, she reassured me that they had in fact removed a cyst last time. Fine, I'm thinking, but I asked you to remove this other one. So a bigger punch was used this time. I just about spoke up to say that I thought perhaps the punch was not the most appropriate method, but really, my medical skills involve polysporin and bandaids. And really, how could they miss the cyst a second time?

So on with the procedure. I saw the cyst this time, and it was smaller than I expected, but it was there. They stitched me up, I was happy, and off I went. Two weeks later I am in Fond du Lac, SK about to get my stitches out and I feel my head again... WHAT THE HECK!!!! The cyst is still there, granted there is a little nick missing from it, but it's still there!!! How can this be possible? Even the nurse practitioner was dumbfounded. I'm concerned that I may soon be balding with all these punch biopsies!

As I am travelling all this week and on the suggestion of the nurse practitioner I went into the Stony hospital the next morning before my meeting to have it removed by a different doctor. After a 20 minute check in and a meander to the emerg section I got to sit in the waiting room for 2 minutes before being ushered to a bed. I gave the nurse a rundown of my purpose in Stony, the paramedic took my blood pressure, and the doctor asked about my case history.

Now we're ready, the doctor marks the cyst with a pen, shaves part of my hair off... it will grow back right??... and we begin again. The doctor was nice enough to comment that it wasn't that big and I felt a little silly making such a fuss, but really I like my kayaking helmet. So he cuts my head open and I hear a surprised remark, "oh this is a bit bigger than I expected". Well I saw the cyst and I am very disillusioned with my doctor - how could she possibly have missed the cyst? I now have a dint in my head and feel confident that it is gone. =)

And hopefully now, my helmet will fit my hornless head better. =)